Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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