If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
