i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
