Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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