just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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