we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
