So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
