My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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