we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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