You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
