Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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