u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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