the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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