I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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