He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
