its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
