I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
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