Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Randomize
