It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My vagina is officially offended.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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