I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
This house was built for laser tag.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
