Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
