The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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