Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
