I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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