Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
