Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
