I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
