Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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