yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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