You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
