The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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