you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
