Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
