i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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