Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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