Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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