When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
