i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
