im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
