All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
