if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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