I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You made out with two different species that night
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
