This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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