I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He shit in the fireplace
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize