He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
