i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
