In the future we'll all be gay
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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