so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
