: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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