yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
