Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
