Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
