And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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