How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
