I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm having to shit out rocks
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